To analyze a bark

Almost every day there are letters in the Press complaining about the nuisance of dogs barking at night, a matter that never seems to be resolved.  With a little understanding the answer is simple.  Everyone groans about the sleepless nights and the dog fights, seen from the human point of view.  But has anyone thought of the dog’s point of view, except to surmise that he is having a roaring great time out there at everyone’s expense?

To understand his angle we have to analyze a bark.

First: The Guarding Bark

            A dog barks to warn his pack of possible trouble.  It is then up to the pack leaders to decide if they should fight or flee.

            The dog, in spite of being messed around by humans for generations, is still basically a dog.  And our family – the other dogs, the cats, the kids, the cook, the lot – are his pack.  You and I are the pack leaders, so it is up to us to decide if our dog is barking necessarily or unnecessarily.

            It is totally unfair to expect a young pup to take up guarding duties.  If he hears a dog bark he will like as not dive under the bed.  This is exactly as it should be.  If there is trouble the last thing a pack wants is a load of puppies underfoot.

            Later, as he grows in size and confidence, he will take up his position on the defence line.  You can encourage him by holding him in your arms and taking him out to the scene of activity and making soft woofing noises yourself.  In this way he understands that it is good to bark, while the safety of your arms tells him there is nothing to be afraid of.

            Then he will start to bark at many things.  But make no mistake about it, a young puppy never barks at absolutely nothing.  This is a habit picked up later.  At his age it is always something.  Now you must go to him each time and see what he is barking at.

            If it is something important you encourage him by going forward with him, making woofing noises yourself and growling under your breath.  This need only be loud enough for him to hear and not your neighbour who might think you are around the twist.  At this stage, believe me, it is much easier for us to talk dog-talk than to expect an uneducated puppy to understand English.

If it is nothing important you slouch away, ultra-relaxed, rubbing up his fur: “Ahh, c’mon, it’s nothing!”  Okay, maybe you do feel like someone overacting the tramp in a coat two sizes too big, but he will get the message quicker that way than if you call him off sharply or walk away smartly, movements which will keep him on the alert.

In this way, and it doesn’t take long, I have taught my dogs that while they should wuff and gruff at anything that might need my attention, they must only bark hard at other dogs and people – our chief problem in our wildlife sanctuary.

Thus, if they wake me at night, my options are reduced to a minimum.  For instance, if there’s a python or a pigeon-toed porcupine nosing around the house, I want to know about it, but only up as far as my elbow.  I don’t want to go leaping out with the gun and take up maximum defence measures just for that.  On the other hand, if it’s a bandit I don’t want to be caught leaning on my elbow thinking it’s only a p. or a p-t p.  The level of the bark’s intensity will let you know which is which.

Like so many aspects of dog-training, once you have got one animal trained the others tend to follow suit, and puppies, like all kids, try to copy the older ones.  It is often even easier to teach all this to an adult dog if he or she is a good pal of yours.

I am astounded when I hear people maintain that a pack of dogs constantly barking round the house at night is a deterrent to thieves.  All too often this just is not so.  You can bet that the average urban thief does quite a bit of reconnaissance before tackling a job and he is quick to see which people pay no attention to the barking of their dogs.  Then, especially if he has worked there at some stage and feels fairly sure the dogs will not actually bite him, the noise they make is a good cover for his own.

It is my firm belief that the urban dog should be in the house at night, for several reasons.  Until he is thoroughly reliable all exits should be closed to him and all interior doors open, if possible including your bedroom.  Then, when someone reaches through the fanlight the dog’s jaws are right there where needed to welcome the unwelcome, instead of him raging helplessly outside while the thief has free run of the house.

A second reason is that it is common practice for a member of a gang to climb a suitable tree and make cat-like noises, attracting all the free-running hounds for streets around, and who is going to get up to stop them barking at a cat?  Hence a lot of houses are left unguarded.

Another ruse, and a reason why we find homes more readily these days for female than for male dogs, is to trot a bitch in season quietly down the street, leading all the males off like a pied piper; again, unless you own a bitch, the house is left unguarded.

Another reason is that a dog left out all night in the yard is going to get bored and be tempted to bark at all manner of things just for diversion.

Nor is it so easy to poison your dog if he is in rather than out.

Any adult dog, unless very old or sick, should be able to last from say, 10 pm to 6 or 6.30 am without having to go out.  The first few nights, if this is a new routine, might be restless but if the dog is reassured and not snarled at he will soon settle down.  And dogs actually like being with us at night.  Given absolute freedom of the entire establishment we find most dogs elect to spent much of the night in our bedroom.

All things considered, keeping your guard dog in at night is surely a far superior system than having him outside, bored and bawling, one moment racing down the avenue yipping, “Bushbabies! Bushbabies!” the next minute roaring at the back fence yelling, “Pigs! Pigs!” then raging at the door shouting, “Thief!  Thief!” and finding that no one is listening to him any more.  Except your neighbour who finally yells at you across the street, “Why the hell don’t you keep your dogs quiet?”  And you snarl back, “Not my dogs – I never hear ‘em.”  See what I mean?

Farm dogs with outbuildings to guard must, of course, have access to them.  But by the same token, if they bark at nothing and everything they are not being much help to the farmer.

The bottom line is this: as pack-leader you are expected to respond and to guide, to teach what is appropriate to your needs and situation, and to be consistent yourself in your attentions.

"Well, are you coming to help or not?"

 Second: The Troubled Bark.

This is usually a hard bark-bark-bark, unvaried in tone or texture unless it develops into a howl, and nearly always means a dog is in trouble.  (Spaniels, however, tend to bark this way naturally.)  Someone nearby should check this bark out, or call the authorities to do so.  It should not be confused with the excited, constant barking when dogs have something up a tree.  When a dog barks with his head as far back as it will go – meant to carry the distress signal as far as possible – a rather different effect is heard.

Third: The Party-line Bark

We all know this one.  The dog sings out gaily, “Woof! Woof-woof-woof-woof! Woof?” up and down the scale.  Further up the road his pal, or pals, reply.  This can go on all night.   It is often a result of boredom, and boredom at night is usually because of lack of regular, thorough exercise and attention by day.  I do not believe a dog should be allowed to hog the night like that any more than our kids should be allowed to hog the phone all day.  By all means allow him to say his little piece, but by 10 pm it’s time say, “Okay chum.  Lights out!”

There are, of course, many other kinds of bark but these are the main disturbing ones.

Some people are shocked to hear me say my dogs are my servants but it is true.  They are my servants and my very dearest friends.  As my servants they are expected to submit to discipline, turn out for the job when needed, do as they are told, work enthusiastically, keep the place clean, keep noise down to a reasonable level, not over-use the party-line and not beg overtime (in tidbits) for every little thing.

            As my dearest friends they are lavished with love and laughter, good food, good grooming and good exercise.  And I think I get more in return from my dogs than most people I know get from theirs.  So many folk miss out on the rich, nuanced, companionable relationships that are possible – as well as the most truly useful.

Wanting only to participate and to please...